Happy New Year - Iss Diwali Sirf Box Office Ki Hi Taale Todenge Yeh Indiawaale, Dil Nahi Jeetenge !!!

STORY - 

Charlie (original name Chandra Mohan Sharma, don't ask!!!) is planning to avenge his father's death by taking revenge on Charan Grover (Jackie Shroff). He gathers his own team of losers, as he keeps re-iterating throughout their introduction to execute his revenge by stealing precious diamonds. But in order to steal the diamonds, the team has to first participate in World Dance Championship, which would smoothen their master plan. As the team of losers are filled with bad dancers, they hire a dance teacher Mohini (Deepika Padukone) to help them get in the WDC. How these losers succeed in their mission of stealing the diamonds from world's safest locker forms the rest of the story.

PERFORMANCES - 

Shah Rukh Khan leads the pack effectively. He shows off his chiseled body - the ABS & showcases his lover boy image throughout the film with enough spreading of arms & dimples. There is nothing in the role offered to him & is no match for his caliber. But he definitely saves the film from sinking.

Deepika Padukone is good & provides an honest performance. Like in Chennai Express, here too she succeeds in modulating her accent. She has a couple of scenes & a song to shine. Sadly, Lovely is not the song I'm talking about despite it being her solo song.

Abhishek Bachchan as Nandu Bhide is funny. The characterization is very inconsistent but he gets to mouth some funny dialogues & provides a lot of comic relief especially during the heist scenes. Sadly, he also gets a few worst scenes too. And he has a double role too which again doesn't has much to speak about.

Boman Irani impresses as a Parsi. Nothing new from his role but his comic timing does the trick. Sonu Sood is good in first half but he's totally wasted in the second half. Vivaan Shah is noticeable in between this star cast. But he looks clueless throughout. Jackie Shroff is again wasted.

DIRECTION & SCREENPLAY -

What lets the movie down is the bad direction & terrible screenplay. The writers have come up with such a confused screenplay that it ends up trying way too hard. The heist scenes are not exciting at all, the entire WDC part comes out bland & it was never expected from Farah Khan. The story talks about a team of losers, just because they're losers doesn't mean they'll act like clowns & buffoonery is delivered in the name of comedy. The team of losers, acting as underdogs stealing the diamonds, avenging the death of Anupam Kher & eventually winning WDC with actual "DANCING" would've made sense. But what we get to see is a team of losers, acting like buffoons, stealing the diamonds so easily like stealing candy from a baby & with all the terrible dancing skills, they end up winning the World Dance Championship. To their support, not once the audience get to know how tough the championship. Even the no.1 team, Koreans are so average dancers that instead of dancing they're used for one action scene in the 2nd half. So with such competitors, it's not bad on the part of audience to think any Tom, Dick & Harry can win the WDC.

Farah Khan has failed in the direction part, but atleast I expected her to do justice to the DANCE parts, something which we know for sure that she can never go wrong. But she was hellbent on proving us wrong.

TECHNICAL DEPARTMENT -

The visuals... the cinematography gets full marks. It's a treat for eyes & the movie looks super grand on screen. The music by Vishal & Shekhar is disappointing. Except for Manwa Laage nothing else works. Even IndiaWaale disappoints due to ordinary choreography. Lovely doesn't set anything on fire either. Dance Like Chammiya is completely wasted. The climax World Dance Medley, impressed a bit but it's far from believing a performance like that would be worthy of winning the championship. Nonsense Ki Night & it's picturization is passable. Dialogues work only in parts, not all dialogues are funny. And editing, well the movie is 3 hours long, it's self-explainatory.

POSITIVES - 

1. Shah Rukh Khan
2. The performances by other star cast, they try really hard to elevate the scenes to a certain level.
3. The first half is very much watchable due to some funny lines. The Chak De India reference is funny & Deepika pulls it off well.
4. Manwa Laage is really good.
5. The grand look of HNY. It's money well spent.
6. The Cameos - watch out for AbRam Khan & Farah Khan's triplets. They're worth your money.

NEGATIVES -

1. Very poor story & screenplay.
2. Indiawaale in the end steals the diamonds as well as wins the WDC. If you look at it, they were thieves who stole (which can be forgiven as they were "Avenging") but they're the winners of WDC, something they won by cheating. They blackmailed the judges with an MMS, they rigged the voting... They danced terribly (minus Deepika's Mohini) & the only good thing they did was to save the Korean kid on stage. That got them a special entry to the finals & suddenly one long performance to save the "IZZAT" of India, that they ended up as champions. What were the writers thinking?
3. The writers again are so confused that, once they've the cast ready to avenge, the next moment they're acting like buffoons, they get emotional, they get serious & after stealing the diamonds, they suddenly get all patriotic. Why? Just because they're IndiaWaale.
4. Remember you've paid for the ticket & you get to see Junior B vomit over & over again. And if that's not enough, you get to see him taste his own vomit. How creative?!
5. The songs don't work except for Manwa Laage.
6. Only Srk can say "breast-taking & love your booty" to a girl & have her fall head over heels. But to what extent will you take him? Plus over use of Madar.... Chod Na Yaar. It's not funny, it's sick.
7. The movie is way too long. It's ridiculously long.

My Rating - 2/5 (1 for Srk, 0.5 for the rest of the cast & 0.5 for the cutie AbRam Khan, also Farah's triplets.)

Final Word - Iss Diwali Sirf Box Office Ki Hi Taale Todenge Yeh Indiawaale, Dil Nahi Jeetenge.

Shah Rukh Khan deserves better, way better. Even if a movie wastes his talent is not a bad thing, what's worse is when a movie mocks his talent. He has achieved a lot & he has proved a lot in his 2 decade career, so a movie like HNY is definitely not needed at all. Here's an actor with a box office potential of earning you never heard before figures, all you've to do is use him the right way. You've only one Shah Rukh Khan & it's time to realize it.